sick and tired, but still moving forward

(this is my awesome small group! such a great bunch)

As I lay on my bed, trying to get over this cold, I think about where I have just come from and where I am going. I've just come out of a great, yet challenging session at LIT. The session began with me not feeling like I had the drive or passion to give my all for the program. It took a lot of surrender for me to fully allow myself to be used at camp and in the LITs lives, but I got over it. And once I did, the relationships that I was able to develop with some of my LITs was awesome. I'm so excited to see what God will do in their lives if they are simply willing to offer their lives over to Him. Though these were really good relationships and that there were really fruitful conversations that took place, it was very very draining. I really felt like I actually gave all that was within me to these LITs. While I was in the moment, I questioned God if my efforts were worth it or if there was even any point, but I kept on going, and in the end, I think that it was all worth it.

So I ended a session at LIT feeling drained, yet encouraged, but now I enter a new session and a new role. Once again, I find my self seeking for a passion to drive me forward as I continue to serve here at camp, specifically as I now enter a new position which is completely different than what I have done at camp previously. It does not help that I am sick entering into this new session, but I also am finding that I don't have the energy or desire to put the effort into developing new relationships with a new staff and new LITs. I know that this will pass, but it is just easier to hang out with those you have an existing relationship with.

At any rate, I continue on because I know that the ministry of LIT is vitally important to these teens lives. It is not by my own strength that I continue on, because really I have none left, but it is by the Lord's strength that I am able to continue on and serve. It's sort of freeing to know that you have nothing left, but that God will still be able to do great things through this weak little body if I surrender it to him. So as I prepare and rest for my role to begin in a few days, I will wait here patiently, be still, and know that He is God.