shame and the gospel?

So I've been reading through the New Testament, and I've just finished off the letters to the Thessalonians. The Thessalonians are not books I read very often, and so some statements in the text can come as a surprise. Like this passage... 2 Thessalonians 3:14. This is a passage found in a chapter focused on warning against idleness. The church in Thessalonica had a few individuals who were not too interested in following the teaching and guidance that Paul had provided... so this is what he had to say about these individuals.

And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good. Take special note of those who do not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard them as enemies, but warn them as fellow believers.

2 Thessalonians 3:13-15

So that they'll feel ashamed?! What the heck. This is not the Christianity I know and love. I thought that the gospel of Christ was one of love and grace. I know that Christ was pretty ticked with everyone who was trashing the temple, but isn't this a bit harsh? Typically on a Sunday morning, you don't hear the pastor say to the congregation "so what we need to do in order to see people come to Christ and to know true love and grace is to ignore them all and hope that they will feel a deep sense of shame. That's how we build the kingdom of God!" uhhh... not so much.

At a time when postmodern culture is infiltrating the church, people don't want to hear a message that is so harsh and definite like this one. An emerging church doesn't want to offend anyone, and so blurs the real picture. I think that the church needs a good kick in the pants every so often, seeing as it can be a bit fuzzy around the edges, but even so... a passage like this is tough to swallow. I'm just trying to figure this one out.

I know that there are passages in scripture that I struggle with, but can understand them in light of the culture and society the letter was being written in. But this verse can't really be put in that same category. Shame doesn't really sound like something our loving God desires for us. I know we need to be humbled before the Lord and know that He is all powerful, but to say that shame and abandonment are ordained by God... I have a hard time buying that. I appreciate how Paul at the end of this passage qualifies that these are people who are to be warned as fellow believers, but this doesn't really fit into the way I relate with my surrounding community. To say that I would not associate with a fellow believer because they strayed away a bit doesn't really seem like the way to bring them back.

Just a few thoughts on a tricky passage... Any other thoughts or input on such a passage would be helpful. Maybe try to figure this one out together! :)